Quotes and funny moments from 2007 trips.

From the Quotable Kent (insults section):

“Did you look in the mirror before you came out here?”

“Should I get you a hair brush?”

God’s judgment on the Quotable Kent (insults section): At 7:45 p.m. on February 15, 2007, Kent Gussiaas fell out of the hammock onto the rock and cement ground. Joy was felt by all.

Tootsie Roll Currency: Mike Rohrer had Tootsie Rolls. I had sunblock. We made the exchange. The Tootsie Roll currency has been born.

Not your usual travel brochure: As we sat around one evening, discussing our planned early morning trip to the Leon dump and a fort therein, Gaylon blurted out that “we’re gonna go to the dump at 7.” It sounded funny. It was only trumped by Kelly’s observation: “We come down to Nicaragua to work in the 100 degree heat and visit the Leon dump.”

Cankles: Many women on the trip lost their ankles due to water retention in the heat. The ankles were replaced with “cankles”, unsightly extensions of the calf which merged puffily into the foot.

Monk: A drunk man from Miami came up to a few of us who were wandering about Leon one Saturday night. As we stood outside the internet cafe, he crossed the street to greet us. He shifted his cup of beer to his other sweaty hand, and then, while chatting us up, started to shake each of our hands. First Lew, then Rebecca, then Gaylon - I was trying to figure out how to avoid it, but no. I limply shook his sweating, beer-covered hand. “I’m Julie” I said. As we walked away, I turned to Rebecca. “Do you have a wipe?”

Full-drool prayer: Kent’s inaccurate description of my early morning journal/prayer sessions in the lobby at La Phonecia, in which I will only admit to resting my eyes. I said I had my Bible open on my lap and my eyes closed “in prayer”, while he contended that I had, indeed, passed out and that it must have been one of those full drool prayers.

Everyone wants a brown shirt: Including Kelly, who had “inadvertently” taken the shirt I had been asking about for days. I caught him trying to sneak it back into the laundry pile.

The asterisk after your name: I began adding asterisks in my journal after people’s names, and when I mentioned it to a few, they wondered what it was for. I told Travis that is was as follows: Travis*

*[insert loud argument here]

A-frame beauty: “What are you doing to my beautiful tree?” Elias asked one night as he arrived back at La Phonecia to see that the guys had angled two tape measures up into a tree, simulating an A-frame house concept they were considering. “It look like teepee. Is Mike sleeping? You could use his buffalo hide on sides.”

The new “Buenos Aires”: First there was Gaylon’s “Ole!” mistake, then Mike’s proud morning greeting of “Buenos Aires!” As a joke (I really hope), Jacob instituted using “gracious” instead of “gracias.” But really, we could all use a little more gracious, I should think.

Shopping: “It’s mall gas. I never thought it would be a problem in an open air market, but it is,” Kent said, after listening to Mike’s tale of shopping in the market with Colleen as she looked for a bracelet. I later told Mike that he has a habit of taking a story and multiplying it times 10 for exaggeration. Surely it wasn’t that bad.

“Based on a lie, based on a lie”: I wrote my own song. Those of you who know, know. The end.

“You’re a creep, Julie”: Gaylon’s biblical response to my getting a foot massage from Rebecca first, every night, compounding the injury by rubbing in the fact that I was staying for an extra week while he was not.

The queen: Jessica, queen of non sequiturs. And proud of it. Go Jessica!

“I’m famished!”: Colleen said, as we watched the women of the church sort through all the huge, heaping piles of donated clothing we had brought down. We merely had to sit on chairs on the sidelines and watch others work. We began sneaking Tootsie Rolls out of Colleen’s bag for sustenance.

If only we had a monkey: After the day’s work, while sitting in the courtyard at La Phonecia waiting for our turn to shower, a bunch of us sipped pop and relaxed. Rebecca casually asked Elias about the coconuts in the courtyard trees, and if he ever ate them.

“You want coconut?” he said, then immediately hollered something in Spanish to Luis who had been working at the other end of the courtyard. Luis returned with a machete and began hacking many coconuts from the trees. Elias came back with straws and a knife and soon we were drinking very warm coconut milk. When Luis was cutting the coconuts down, Elias had us rolling in laughter, as usual, telling us that the machete was not the best way to remove the coconuts from the trees.

“The problem is we have no monkeys,” he said, adding that if there were monkeys, we could throw a stone at the monkey and, since the monkey wouldn’t have a stone to throw back, he’d throw a coconut. “Monkey see, monkey do.”

Bon-bon: One night I bought candy and shared with the group, with Jon Rohrer insisting that the Bon-Bons tasted like chocolate covered Cheetos. The real Bon-Bon, however, wasn’t candy, but Bonnie A. She tumbled out of the same hammock twice within a five minute period, leading Alfredo to joke at the supper table that she went “boom-boom” which quickly morphed into “bon-bon.” Hence, a new nickname was born.

The Heisman: Based on the pose of the Heisman trophy, Dave, Jon (”Toot”), and Travis brought a new level to flatulence-based humor. Travis even brought it to the ice-cream store. Loudly. Completely unacceptable.

Goiters and enemas: Bonnie’s medical book entitled “Where there is no doctor” was chock full of good advice for missionaries and people living where it would be impossible to get to a doctor. Some of the advice, however, made us laugh. Continuously. All week. This advice included the admonition that it was never good to give an enema if the patient was suffering from a gut gun-shot wound, or that a goiter would not disappear if a crab were tied to it or the hand of a dead child were to touch it.

The illustrations were also informative.